Mother’s Day thoughts, 2016

Saturday, May 7, 2016 

Mother's Day is a difficult time for many people. I wish love and comfort to all those hurting on this day (or this weekend). Not just to those of us who whose mothers have passed on, but also to those who are estranged from their mothers, or who never knew their mothers, or whose mothers are no longer here for us mentally or physically, through dementia or illness, or whose mothers are simply not the romantic mother-figures we might wish they could be.

Also to those who desperately wish they could be mothers, but for whatever reason can't, or those who used to be mothers but have tragically lost their children, either at birth or at any point in their lives, or who have been estranged from their children. This day is a painful reminder to those of us who don't (or don't any longer) have the happy mother-child relationship that others seems to have - a reminder of all that we might be missing. 

You may feel lonely or deprived on this day, but you are not alone. Take this time to remember your mother, if she has gone - to remember the good times and the love she gave you, and to honor her in your heart. Or, instead, use this time to think of someone else who loves or cares for you, and celebrate them in your heart. Perhaps a mother-figure, an aunt, a friend of the family, a teacher, a mentor, perhaps a close female friend - anyone who has been kind to you, elevated you, cheered you on, helped you out, listened to you, encouraged you. It doesn't even have to be declared, just privately whispered in our hearts, and shown in our grateful interactions.

And, as we silently (or not so silently) thank those "mother-figures" who have been kind to us in our lives, let's also perhaps think about someone in our lives who is younger than us, who could benefit from our "mothering" - someone who might be shy, or insecure, who might be yearning for more nurturing, more praise, more encouragement. What a difference we might be able to make in their lives with a few kind or encouraging words, a helping hand, a generous act, or even just an approving smile from time to time.

I'm so grateful for the immeasurable love my Mum gave me my entire life, up until 5 months ago. She really left me enough love to last me until I die. I'm also grateful for the love and nurturing from my aunts, my Godmother, my cousins, my other "mother-figures" and my dear, kind, female friends. 

Despite my sadness and emptiness at not having my mother around any more, I still feel full of love to give - to my friends, my family, and of course, my children. I hope that I will never run out of this love to give. In loving and nurturing the people in our lives, we honor our "mothers" and the "mother" within us.