My Tribute to Paul Darrow ~ An extraordinary person & friend

I first met Paul Darrow in December 2011, in a tiny hotel in the middle of the English countryside! I was absolutely star struck and over the moon to finally meet this hero from my childhood; this charming actor and face of many impressive TV characters, most notably the roguish Avon from Blake's 7. (An intelligent British Sci-Fi TV series from the 1970s and 80s).

Here we are (below), my husband and I with Paul, in the lovely garden of the hotel, having just had breakfast with him. This was the morning after a most incredible, memorable dinner and evening with Paul and his friends...

I had grown up watching Blake's 7 during my early childhood. I watched it with my Dad, who got me interested in Sci-Fi, especially Doctor Who, Star Trek and Blake's 7. I was a young child when I first encountered Blake's 7, and it was a little over my head back then. It was complicated, often serious, strange and rather violent (for a young child anyway). But I was fascinated and enjoyed the atmosphere, costumes and acting, even if I didn't always understand much of what was going on. I found Avon (Paul's character) intimidating - even scary!

It wasn't until much later in my adulthood (in my early 30s), that I re-discovered Blake's 7, re-watched the entire series and fell in love with Paul's character, Avon, as millions of other fans did.  I was no longer scared of Avon - I was attracted! I joined the thousands of young women drawn to the black leather-clad, cool, suave, sarcastic rogue.

How did I get from being one of millions of fans, to meeting Paul, to becoming friends with him? It was all thanks to Youtube and a particular person I met through Youtube who I became friends with, and who eventually introduced me to Paul. I'll call this person Jenny, though that is not her real name, and bears no connection to her whatsoever, as I'd like to preserve her privacy.

Having finished the Blake's 7 series, and craving more knowledge of Paul Darrow the actor, I had started looking up videos of Paul on Youtube. I discovered other TV shows he'd been in, interviews with him, and many fan-made videos of him. Among the best fan-made videos of Paul were Jenny's videos. She had made incredible video homages to Paul, using clever software, piecing together clips of him as Avon from Blake's 7, with well-chosen music perfectly over-laid.

I began commenting on Jenny's videos, complimenting her on the wonderful job she'd done. She began replying to my comments and thanking me. I discovered more and more of her fan videos, and couldn't help commenting on all of them - they were so brilliant. My comments gradually led to real, reciprocal conversations about how she had made the videos and how much of a fan we both were, of Blake's 7 and Paul Darrow. Eventually, we transferred our conversations to email, and so began several years of email correspondence and a growing friendship.

As I got to know Jenny, she started dropping little hints here and there that she had not only met Paul Darrow face to face, but actually knew him! One day, after asking her the question several times, Jenny finally told me how she knew him! For the sake of her privacy though, I won't divulge any more than this.  Suffice it to say I was mind-blown!

Home addresses were exchanged, and Jenny was kind enough to get Paul's autograph for me on this large photograph! She mailed this to me, along with a bunch of DVDs  of Paul starring in many different TV shows!  Such treasures!  I was not only excited to have Paul's autograph, I was also really thankful to have made this new friend in Jenny.

Eventually, after several years of this email friendship, Jenny invited me and my husband to join her and her friends in a small gathering at a hotel in the English countryside, to meet Paul and have dinner with him!! I was blown away! She said she knew me well enough now that she trusted me to "not be a lunatic fan"! Ha ha! Apparently, the "inner circle" of friends surrounding Paul Darrow got there mostly by invitation only and/or approval from Paul's PA.  It seemed too good to be true, but we went!

It was during the Christmas holiday of 2011. We had to leave our children with my parents for a weekend, but luckily, they were willing and able (at that time) to do that for us. We drove my parent's car a couple of hundred miles to get there! Checking in to the hotel, our names were on a special list of about 20 people in this private party! What a privilege!

I shall never forget meeting Paul for the first time. The funny thing was, I didn't even see him at first - I saw Jenny first!  There she was standing in the street, down the road from the hotel.  I recognized her from the photos she had sent of herself.  I was so excited to meet her, I ran over to her, doing a mock-romantic slow-motion run.  We hugged and giggled like school girls. I was so over-flowing with excited chit-chat to her, she practically had to interrupt me to say, "Toria, I want to introduce you to someone!"

I stopped, turned, and was struck dumb by seeing a man standing there, next to her, who was instantly familiar! I hadn't even noticed him at first! Oh wow, it was the MAN HIMSELF!  There he was, looking at me, silently, with his big dark brown eyes. He'd been quietly observing me and my gushy greeting of Jenny all along, and I hadn't even noticed him!  I felt myself blushing deeply, and I put both hands over my mouth and gasped!

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there! Wow! How wonderful to meet you!" I stuttered and mumbled and tried to greet Mr. Darrow appropriately, but embarrassment and awe rendered me a dithering mess.  Luckily, Jenny and her friends came to my rescue and much laughter and light-heartedness soon eased my embarrassment.

Later that evening, we changed into evening clothes, ready for the dinner... 

Jenny had arranged the seating for dinner that night, and had been kind enough to place me right next to Paul!  (I still have the name tags that were placed on the table). What a sweetheart!  She seemed excited for me, and I was so grateful to her! 

That night, I went from being a mere fan, to being totally enchanted with Paul. He was so gallant, gentlemanly and charming to me, all through the dinner, while simultaneously being the center of attention and sole entertainer of the gathering of 20. All eyes were on him, but also, by default, slightly on me too, since I was right next to him. I think I blushed all through the dinner at the weight of those gazes!

Paul poured my wine, he passed me the butter, he exchanged pleasant and complimentary conversation with me the entire dinner, while turning this way and that, to engage with as many of the others around the table as he could. He occasionally looked right at me, his dark brown eyes looking into mine, fleetingly, but deeply enough to send electric currents all through me!

Then came the first of many of his "smoke breaks"!  A small handful of smokers got up and followed Paul outside for a puff!  I'm not a smoker, but... I had had the odd cigarette in my youth occasionally, and I could puff away at one for a short time, to keep another smoker company! Dave, my wonderful, generous husband, kindly encouraged me - "Go! Have fun!" he said. "Are you sure?" I asked him. "Yes! Go on!" ... So I went outside with about 3 or 4 others into the chilly back garden and bummed a cigarette off Paul!  I had to try not to shiver too much while he leaned towards me to light my cigarette, shielding the lighter with his hand against the wind. There's something deliciously intimate about the conversation between smokers, standing like outcasts out in the dark and cold, shivering and huddling together for warmth, laughing and sharing the "sin" of smoking!  Those precious 10 minutes or so, with Paul and only a few others, were wonderful, especially having had several glasses of wine by then!

Back indoors, Paul lit up the room with his re-entry, just as he did every time, and held the attention of everyone as he began telling his funny stories and terrible, dirty Irish jokes!  Since Dave and I were "fresh meat", and hadn't heard any of his jokes before, everyone called upon Paul to tell us all the best/worst ones... "Go on Paul! Tell them the one about Fanny Green!"  The wine, the cigarettes, the atmosphere, the Christmas spirit, the giddiness of sitting next to Paul, all contrived to make me laugh hysterically at his Fanny Green joke! I thought it was hilarious! (I wouldn't think it terrible until I'd heard it for the 10th time, years later!) I think I caught a look of pleasure and gratitude in Paul's eyes that he'd made us laugh like that, that night.  Jenny told me afterwards that he had been very chuffed to have us there. New fans, new interest, new friends. I also felt that I'd made a personal connection with Paul. He certainly had a gift of making people feel that way.

The next morning, after breakfast, I found a quiet moment to ask Paul if he'd mind signing my copy of his autobiography. He could have scribbled it there and then, but he beckoned me away from the others, into an empty room and we sat down at a table together. He got out his nice pen, and asked me what I wanted him to write. He looked me in the eyes and I just trembled and was dumb struck! I couldn't think of anything of course, so I left it up to him... After a few moments' hesitation, he wrote this... Simple but sweet...


An hour or two later, as we were leaving and saying our goodbyes, I shall never forget how Paul asked my husband, "Dave my good man, may I kiss your wife?"
Dave generously and trustingly said "Sure!"
Paul gently but firmly took both my shoulders in his hands, gallantly leaned towards me and planted a chivalrous kiss on my cheek. Not too quick but not too long! I just stood there, wide-eyed like a deer in headlights! I wanted to throw my arms around his neck and kiss him, but I didn't of course.  I just looked up at him with a shy smile and hoped fervently that I would see him again...

I was fortunate enough that this was just the first of many special private evenings with Paul... though I have to say, none of them were quite so special as that first night.

Over the following 8 years, Dave and I made sure that every time we came over to England to visit my parents (which was at least once, if not twice a year), we squeezed in a weekend or evening with Paul and his small group of friends.  It was always organized by Paul's PA and kept to between 20 and 30 people in a small hotel. It was always a small enough group to be able to find moments of one-on-one conversation with Paul. Through these evenings, we got to know Paul more and more, and became more relaxed and open with him, and he did with us.

Soon we exchanged emails and phone numbers with Paul, and this now opened up the chance for both Dave and I to get to know Paul even better. Through his emails, he became less jokey, sarcastic and frivolous with us, and showed his more serious, kind, caring side, always asking after our children, our health, my music projects, etc. He liked to talk about politics and current events and shared details of his life, his projects and experiences.  He corresponded with both Dave and I individually, and we both became really good friends with him.

Edit update (May 13, 2024): For Paul's privacy, I didn't want to share any of his emails with anyone, at the time, but now that it's been 5 years since he passed away, I'm finally adding a couple of screen shots of his emails to this post. (And also because some people really didn't believe that I was corresponding with him by email!)

Here's just one example of Paul's many emails to me over the years:

In addition to the small private evenings, we also went to a few larger gatherings and conventions where Paul was. We discovered that we were indeed privileged to be in Paul's "inner circle". Living 4000 miles away across the pond, we couldn't attend as frequently as the others, but we still felt warmly included in that group.

It had been impressed upon us to keep this private group as secret as possible; to not post anything about it or its location on any social media sites. Jenny and Paul's PA explained that they didn't want just anyone infiltrating it, in case any loony stalkers came along and bothered Paul!  We of course understood and complied. We did tell a few close friends some of the details, but not all, and never divulged the location. Or, if we posted about the location we were in, we wouldn't say WHO we were seeing! We always referred to it on Facebook as "The Evening" with "Him".

As a result of these "Evenings" with "Him", we also had the privilege of meeting a whole bunch of other wonderful people who we became friends with too. They were all intelligent, funny, witty, nice people to be with. We've often met up with them in England, without Paul, and we are still friends with many of them on Facebook.

During the very difficult year when my parents both passed away (2015), Paul was very kind and supportive to both of us. Dave had to go to England on his own for a few weeks to help clear out my parents' house. During this time, Dave called Paul on his cell phone, just to say "hi", and Paul arranged to meet up with Dave! He introduced Dave to his friend, Roger (not his real name), who was a watch and clock appraiser. (Dave had told Paul he needed to find an appraiser, to get my Dad's watches and clocks valued). Roger gave Dave some very useful advice on my Dad's watches and clocks! And Paul treated Dave to lunch!  I was amazed what a generous gesture this was, and how kind Paul had been, in trying to help Dave with the watches and clocks.

Of course, I wished I had been there too, but I was in the US, dealing with my very sick mother, who had had a stroke and was weeks away from dying.  Paul promised Dave that we could arrange another lunch again with me next time, and Dave promised Paul that he'd treat him next time!

Sadly, after both my parents passed away, our visits to England dried up a bit, for a time. It was a bleak time for me and sadly for Paul too. It's no secret now that he suffered a terrible aortic aneurysm, and, in order to save his life, surgeons had to amputate both of his legs, and he became wheel-chair bound. It's a miracle he survived that actually, but the shock of losing both legs must have caused his health to seriously decline even further.  As he was supportive of me in the loss of my parents, I tried to be supportive of him, in the loss of his legs and health. Dave and I wrote to him as much as we could and continued to tell him how much he meant to us.

We were so glad that he was able to continue his creative career, despite his health,  by writing books, narrating audio books, acting in audio plays with other Blake's 7 actors, and doing regular voice-overs for a local radio station.  It was wonderful to continue listening to his dulcet tones, and hear his dry wit. His audio books kept me going on many a long drive.

The last time we saw Paul was 2 years ago, in June 2017. It was at the "Blake" Event in England:- a memorial event for Gareth Thomas, the actor who played Blake, who had died in 2016.  Several other Blake's 7 actors came to this, including Michael Keating, who we had already met at another convention in 2013.

This is us with Paul. You can see how familiar I was with Paul by this time, that a friendly hand clasp seemed natural during the photo shoot.
There wasn't much time for private conversation with Paul at this event sadly. But we talked about when we'd get a chance to see each other again "for a proper gossip".

After this event, we continued to write to each other, always looking forward to that lunch we would one day have, the next time we came over to England. We sent Christmas cards and birthday cards and kept each other in touch with our lives.

I'm sorely regretting now, that we didn't carve out time to see Paul during our latest trip to England in March of this year (2019)!  We were only over for a week, and we were focused on seeing my family. The problem was the distance. Paul was living a long way from where we were visiting and it would have taken a day or more of driving to pull off a visit to him.  With precious little time to spare in England on this trip, we just didn't want to drive long distances.  That is one regret I will now always have... :(

In my last email to Paul on his birthday, (2nd May, 2019) I said, "Please know I do often think of you. Many times when I listen to your audio-books, or the Liberator Chronicles, etc, I'm enjoying your acting, your voice, your characterizations. You continue to have a positive and entertaining presence in our lives."

In his reply, he thanked me for my "long and entertaining email and kind birthday wishes" and said, "Next time you are over here, you must let me know, and we'll splash out on that lunch!"

I am so gutted that that will never happen now. But I must remember that I'm not alone - there are thousands out there right now, feeling bereft with the loss of Paul.  My small personal loss is a drop in the ocean, especially compared to those nearest and dearest to him. And his passing is also a loss to the entertainment industry.  He just told me that, "Blake's 7 recordings have started up again", which means we now won't get whatever other new audio books and/or new Blake's 7 audio plays were in the works, with his voice.

My heart goes out to Maureen, Paul's PA and long time friend and confidant, who has worked tirelessly by his side for 3 decades, helping him organize his work life and social life and managing the legions of fans who have flocked to him continuously, over the years.

And my heart goes out to Jenny, to whom I will always feel a debt of gratitude, for being so kind and generous to me all those years ago, for sharing her videos and stories of Paul, and for eventually introducing me to the Man Himself, and thereby giving me such a great gift: - the gift of his extraordinary friendship.