(This was a Facebook "meme" in which I was happy to participate).
1. I'm very claustrophobic, and usually try to avoid elevators, tunnels, underground trains, etc, where possible. When forced to go in these, I have to focus on breathing slowly to avoid panic attacks. (I’ve heard that claustrophobia can be related to birth trauma – I did have a very long birth, with forceps delivery).
2. I was also born with a dislocated hip - basically had no ball or socket – (ew, TMF?) They (the docs) had to "grow" me one, so I spent the first 2 years of my life (almost) in a plaster-cast on both legs, from waist to toe, in a frog-leg position! (My Dad made me a special stroller + high-chair to compensate!)
3. Because of my hip problem, I was later forced to do loads of exercise to prevent arthritis – hence my years as a competitive swimmer, runner, aerobicker (or whatever you call it!)
4. I love swimming and would like to come back as a dolphin, if re-incarnation exists (which I ponder on from time to time, but can’t make up my mind if I believe in it or not).
5. I do not subscribe to any organized religions, or set of beliefs, but I consider myself "spiritual".
6. When I was 5, I was a complete tom-boy: - For my 5th birthday party, I dressed up in a Cowboy costume, complete with silver gun, Stetson hat, flared, tassled pants (trousers), fake leather vest (waistcoat), etc... I wanted to be a super-hero or a wrestler and ride bare-back on a horse.
7. While I didn’t realize I was a tomboy as a child, I started to want to be more “feminine” as a teenager – and consequently hated my hair – the biggest bane of my existence + boyfriend barrier! – I always longed for smooth, flowing, long, feminine hair, and have since worked very hard to create just that! (Managed it for a few years, but have no time to maintain it now!)
8. When I was 7, I used to play an imaginary game with my school friends, called "Dream America" which involved pretending to be in America, talking in an American "accent", riding around on imaginary horses, acting out Western movies, etc... Is it any coincidence I’ve ended up living in America??
9. When I was 8, I visited America for the first time with my parents (a small town in Connecticut) and thought it was all absolutely amazing, dream-like, cool, unreal, etc. America itself was like a Disney park to me - never having experienced MacDonalds (well, this was 1979), large pizzas, more than 3 flavors of ice-cream, drive-thrus, large cars, open roads, heat (it was over 100F at that time), air conditioning, fridges with ice + water dispensers, television with more than 2 channels, non-stop cartoons, etc...
10. Music (especially composing + playing the piano) is a very large part of my spiritual life + experience. I was a bit of a child prodigy, but always loved playing - it was never forced upon me. Playing the piano at parties, weddings, etc, was a great substitute for having to make small talk! Playing the flute in orchestras and singing in choirs was a wonderfully liminal experience for me – it enabled me to suspend my typical shy nature, and allow me to bond, share + create with people, in an intimate but perfectly comfortable setting.
11. I greatly miss my music career - it's the one thing that can make me resent motherhood more than anything (and I feel guilty for thinking so).
12. My biggest dream is to have my own recording studio, and play at making music all day. (I’ve had a taste of this dream, having made several solo CDs and albums) Infact, my biggest biggest dream is to write film music.
13. I have synesthesia: - seeing things like numbers, letters, names, days of the week, etc, as colors, textures, flavors, etc. (Also hearing sounds as colors). I only discovered this recently, since I took it for granted all my life. It's neurological and involuntary, not a poetic figment of my imagination! While it may be weird, it does help with memorizing things sometimes. (E.g. the fact that all names beginning with S are innately yellow).
14. I love the red spectrum of colors – not just red itself, but oranges, browns, pinks, purples, etc… They make me feel warm, cozy + content.
15. I think of my Mum as my best friend or sister - we have always been very close and still are.
16. My husband, Dave, has helped bring out all the best parts of my personality, and parts that I never knew I had, such as patience! My husband was, and is, the love of my life.
17. Having an autistic child has brought many blessings to my life, such as allowing me more spiritual growth, allowing me to get used to chaos, allowing me to let go of trivial concerns (such as what my neighbors or acquaintances think), allowing me to meet many amazing + inspiring people, especially therapists + special ed teachers. But yes, having an autistic child has been (and always will be) damn hard, grueling, maddening, frustrating, exhausting and rewarding in ways I would never have imagined.
18. I think therapists + special ed teachers are all absolute angels, and I know I could never be one of them.
19. Sophie, my daughter, is another incredible blessing - I hope she remains "best buddies" for life with me, as she is now, and as I am still with my Mum.
20. Spring is my favorite season (especially after the long Chicago winters). Very soppy + sentimental, but I love seeing the new buds of leaves on the trees, flowers, etc, especially since this doesn't happen here until April (when I've been used to it happening in late February in England!)
21. I am a certified Doula (professional birth assistant) although I haven’t made it my career – I do it for love. I love the whole experience of birth and helping mothers physically and psychologically through the process.
22. I am a certified Reiki practitioner – (only level 1) – again I don’t use this in any professional capacity – I just use it to enhance my own health and spiritual experiences, and to help close friends in need of a healing boost once in a while.
23. Sometimes I can’t make up my mind whether I want my main career to be composing music or writing fiction (or non-fiction)…But then I wake up to reality and realize I have no choice – it’s neither – at least until my kids leave home!
24. Having children has provided me with far more depth of experience and material for composing music and writing than I would ever have had without them.
25. My other big dream is to publish a memoir about all this one day!
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